IT Pickup Lines to Use This Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2020 | min

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for people—did you know in 2019, people spent $886 million on their furry, feathered, or scaly companions? There are a lot of unconventional ways to share the love this holiday. So why not start with something you interact with every day?

Yup, your datacenter! (No, really. Stay with us on this or no flowers for anyone, let alone that old SAN.)

Don’t get me wrong—buy chocolates and flowers for those special sentient beings in your life, but if you ask us, your infrastructure has pulled a lot of weight over the past few (or many!) years. Below are some fun ways to show your technology (or your tech-savvy date) you care—no ostentatious gifts required.

You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop after I perform a legacy infrastructure upgrade!

We’ve all been there. You’ve got your snacks, movies, and comfiest desk chair ready for that pesky upgrade. You can see how others choose to kill time in this infographic, but here’s a highlight: one IT technical manager said he walks 3-5 miles to get through an upgrade! While we’re happy folks are getting their steps in, no upgrade should take that long.

Thinking you’d like your infrastructure much better if it didn’t take several episodes (or seasons) of your favorite Netflix show to get through an upgrade. Take a test drive of a much, much faster solution, and see for yourself how easy it is to fall in love with hyperconverged infrastructure.

I’m no photographer, but I can picture our clouds together. 

Whether you’re operating with a public, private, distributed, edge, mulit-, or hybrid cloud, your clouds belong together in perfect harmony. In fact, did you know that 61% of respondents to the Enterprise Cloud Index said application mobility across clouds and cloud types is essential? 

Nutanix Move can help with that, so you can say goodbye to manual “lift and shift” operations (that’s like a bad relationship!) and usher in time- and cost-saving automation. 

If I had to rate my Nutanix infrastructure, I’d give it a 9 because I’m the only 1 it needs.

Your infrastructure shouldn’t require an army of specialists just to keep it running. It’s not effective for your IT budget, and it does little to keep your team engaged, motivated, and rewarded. 

Hyperconverged infrastructure just works, so you can focus on up-leveling your team to more high-value projects and developing their skills as they grow within your organization. You can see Gartner’s take on the topic and get a real-world case study of a healthcare organization that realized its goal of driving high IT availability without adding unnecessary resources.

Is your datacenter wearing a spacesuit? It’s out of this world!

With hyperconverged infrastructure, this might be a pickup line you’ll be getting! And while it may not launch you into space, it can launch you into the future, complete with the same simplicity and cost-saving abilities that made you fall in love with it in the first place.

Curious what the next generation of hyperconvergence has in store? Consider this Dummies eBook your quick-start guide.

Are you a cartographer? Because you’re the infrastructure I’ve been searching for.

Deciding hyperconverged infrastructure is a good fit for you is the first step. Knowing which vendor to invest in is the second, slightly harder step. But with the Gartner Magic Quadrant on your side, you can rest knowing you have all the important details you’ll need to make the right decision. 

Hint: look up and to the right!

A life without you is like running your clouds without an OS.

Whether you’re on the private, public, hybrid, or multi-cloud train, Nutanix Enterprise Cloud provides a single OS for them all. Complete with a single point of control for any application and workload across any and all of your clouds, you can spend less time monitoring your cloud resources and more time primping for that date!

Still haven’t found a pickup line that works? We think a date with Enterprise Cloud for Dummies sounds pretty good, too!

Hi, my name is 3-tier infrastructure. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Now that’s a pickup line you’ll want to reject! Your infrastructure should be a supportive, innovation-enabling powerhouse, not a couch crasher needing ‘round-the-clock superveillance. 

Here’s some inspiration from 10 global organizations who have said goodbye to their clingy, needy legacy infrastructure.

You must be legacy disaster recovery because you’ve got me feeling unstable!

When you put your datacenter in the hands of legacy disaster recovery solutions, it’s like going out on a date in the middle of the ocean with no life vest—kind of exhilarating, but totally not worth it! After all, if your datacenter goes out, you might be racking up $9,000/minute charges as you scramble to fix the problem.

Take a look at this checklist and see if your solution stacks up and has you protected from all angles. 

Be my private cloud? I want to be the only one with access to you.

You wouldn’t share your date, so why share your sensitive cloud data? Love is in the air (er, clouds?), and 80% of IT leaders have already started moving applications out of their public cloud and back on premises.

Why? Private cloud provides stellar security (much like your date makes you feel safe and cozy), delivers high agility (is your date a runner?), and is a cost-effective alternative to the often unpredictable costs that come from public cloud (after all, who wants to break the bank on the first date?) We think this eBook will give you the private cloud butterflies. 

Now that we’ve broken the ice...

Make sure to raid the aisles for some last-minute Valentine’s Day gifts! But if you can’t find any, we think an issue or two of NEXT Magazine is just as romantic. Just let us know how many copies you (or your date) would like!

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